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Want To Lose Weight, Make Any Other Change? There Is A Secret Equation That Guarantees Success

By admin | June 10, 2009

For many folks, the path to personal transformation and self-improvement is a long and winding road filled with complicated barriers. Drug companies in particular have capitalized on and created gigantic fortunes because of the elusive search for the “Magic Pill” that will fix everything. As it turns out, there is a secret formula for success, and it begins in the human mind.

One of the rules of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) is that “there is a positive intention behind all behaviors.” And based on that rule, when it comes to getting rid of negative behaviors, there is an equation that we must keep in mind. I’ll let you in on the secret formula in a minute. But first, I have a riddle for you to solve.

Riddle: A preacher made his child drink lye, which burned out the child’s voice box. What was the positive intention behind this action?

If you are like 99.9% of the clients who have visited my office since 1978, you’ll say something like: “There’s no positive intention behind that behavior.” But you would be completely incorrect. To answer this riddle, you must separate the behavior from the positive intention of the behavior.

The minister’s child was cursing. And the minister believes that if his child curses, his soul will be condemned to Hell. So the answer is that the minister was burning out his child’s vocal cords so that he couldn’t curse. By doing so, he was saving his child’s soul from being damned to Hell.

The secret equation for personal change uses NLP and works as follows:

We should always respect the positive intention that motivates every behavior. If we have an impulse to employ a behavior that we don’t like, we can quickly get rid of the impulse to use that behavior. All we need to do is to find a different behavior and substitute it in its place. To be successful, the new action must be as accessible and effective at accomplishing the same secondary gain, but be more consciously acceptable to you. This is called a REFRAME.

When clients come into my office, the first thing I do is to take a thorough case history. Let’s say that they come in and ask me to help them lose weight. Conventional wisdom tells us that the two main reasons that people eat excessively are: (1) to reduce stress; (2) because eating can be a conditioned response. Case in point, if a person eats while they are watching TV, they will develop a conditioned response, and thereafter, every time they sit down to watch TV, they’ll get cravings and an urge to eat.

However, the above answer only takes into consideration the possible secondary gain received from the behavior of eating. What if they also have another behavior that is involved in the equation? Case in point: What if being chubby is also a behavior for this person? I can hear your mind churning right now as you think, “Being heavy isn’t a behavior, what are you talking about?”

Sorry but you could be 100% incorrect. Here is a classic textbook example that will illustrate the fact that being heavy can be a behavior. It can be a behavior because it can accomplish positive outcomes.

Example: A woman is deeply in love. Her partner breaks up with her, and breaks her heart. Her unconscious wants to protect her emotionally and stop her from ever having her heart broken again. So it motivates her to get heavy to keep her out of relationships. Because if she isn’t in a relationship she won’t get her heart broken again.

Everyone is totally different. And sometimes there are hidden elements at work that cause uncontrollable behaviors. These are elements that are different for each person.

Here’s another case: A woman comes into my office complaining of an uncontrollable urge to overeat at mealtime. During my case history, the woman explains to me how she has never been able to please her dad.

During an age regression, we learned that one of her early memories was of having a meal with her family. And dad was insisting in a very loud voice that she clean her plate, even though she was bursting at the seams. So she finished the food left on her plate because of fear, and her dad praised her for finishing all of the food. It was one of the only times in her life that she could recall her father telling her that she had made him happy.

Shoot forward to the present. Dad’s been dead for many years, but the unconscious program he installed is still operational. She still has an urge to finish everything on her plate, even if she is feeling stuffed to the gills, because by cleaning the plate, in her subconscious mind she is getting dad’s approval, and eliminating her own fear!

So if you are having a problem making personal changes, please remember that there is a positive intention that causes all behaviors. And the formula for success is to alternate another behavior that will accomplish the same secondary gain, but in a way that is more consciously satisfactory to you, as an individual. The most effective way to get your unconscious to assume the responsibility for making this kind of alteration for you is through an NLP 6-Step Reframe.

Alan B. Densky, CH is an NLP Practitioner. He began his professional practice of NLP & hypnosis in 1978. He offers an interactive NLP Six-Step Reframing CD on his Neuro-VISION Hypnosis website. Also available are his Free NLP research library, hypnosis & NLP newsletters and MP3 downloads.

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